The only ethics usually associated with the world of high finance is that county to the north-east of London that thupplies the thtock exchange with barrow-boy traders. And the marketing industry is no better, often displaying morals that are as loose as Jordan's knicker elastic. But therein lies the difference between corporate-self and mountain climbing-self. So while JK's predatory instinct in business would make a Great White Shark blush, and The Ageing Hipster's younger exploits would've made even Berlusconi think twice, when we scramble up the Uhuru peak we want to do so with a clear conscience.
So choosing an ethical tour operator is a priority. One that treats its people fairly, pays a decent wage and makes reasonable demands on porter and client alike.
Africa is different, there's no denying this, so expecting European standards is a mistake. But Kilimanjaro is a major industry, and Tanzania isn't exactly backwards, so there's no need to settle for anything less than professional standards of care, a well-resourced and well-manned party and decent quality equipment. After all we are attempting the highest peak in Africa - this is a serious exercise.
IMEC, an international body dedicated to improving conditions for mountain-tourism workers, has set guidelines regarding the number of guides and porters per person, and the maximum weight they should carry. They also run a special project to improve conditions for porters and guides in Africa and Nepal. I decide to get all Health and Safety on this, and make sure our Tour Operator is IMEC approved and that our party exceeds the guidelines.
It seems that getting an official Kilimanjaro Tour Guide's licence is easier than getting a Harvard degree from China - so a licenced operator does not mean a good one. You could be trusting life and limb to a bandit with as much regard for your life as the US Government has for your human rights.
So going into it with eyes open, and after much research, The African Walking Company is my preferred operator. They are well established, claim a high success rate, subscribe to IMEC, are very frank about the challenges and are totally flexible on routes and dates. They have three-man tents, but only put two people in them, and they set up a mess tent with proper chairs and a table for breakfast, supper and the evening chill out. We had this on the Inca Trail and it was a right touch.
More importantly, they have excellent feedback on Trip Advisor, and are recommended in Bobby Backspin's How To Climb Kilimanjaro Without Farting book. So far so good.
I also like the fact they directly employ all of the porters and guides, drawing people from different local tribes into each tour. This feels like our money will help a wider economy, and we'll get a richer experience of Tanzanian culture. It also guards against any single person effectively being guide, leader and paymaster to a bunch of his mates.
Punky's MOT is due on Jan 27th - assuming this goes well, we have a date, we have a party, we have a tour guide.
As Captain James T Kirk might say to an orgasmic Trekkie convention, we're going up Uhuru!
Wednesday 19 January 2011
Friday 7 January 2011
Happy New Year
"Happy New Year" says text from Bobby Backspin. "Got Kili book from Santa, just acquired a mountain bike and started on step machine" Christ, he didn't waste any time! "Suggest we have conference call next week ... agenda to follow"
A conference call - now we're in business. Getting the boys together usually involves several hundred texts, a shed load of compromises and a large dollop of luck, all over a 6 week timeline. But we value the time together - so much so that it was only after suffering several years of curry nights that JG, JK and Bobby all admitted they don't actually like curry - so it's been Bangers n Mash since then (or in Bobby's case fish finger sandwiches. Marvelous. If only the S+M Cafe still did Ambrosia Cream Rice, I'd happily spend the rest of my life there).
Agenda duly arrives - 1) Punky's MOT. 2) Confirming commitment. 3) Agreeing date. 4) Route - tents v huts. 5) Kit. 6) Agree training weekend in Wales. 7) AOB. This is uber efficiency at its German best - I feel like I'm entering the jet set and wonder if I should dig the Cerrutti suit out especially for the occasion!
Predictably me and Bobby Backspin hit the call first. Punky and JK are fashionably late, followed by JG, who is so fashionably late it's virtually haute couture.
Punky's in for his MOT at the end of January, and he's already in training to make sure that he passes! Good lad. Fingers crossed.
Ideally we'd time the trip to reach the summit on Sept 12th, which is a full moon (the final ascent starts at midnight, climbing with torches strapped to head not as romantic). Sadly Punky has a global corporate wank-in that week, and Gooner D starts college after that, so we decide on the first week in September, as near to the full moon as we can.
Bobby Backspin confirms Crispy Backspin's not coming after all, which is a shame. It'd be nice to get to know her better, and seven's a magic number that works well on trips. Luckily JK knows a fellow dad of a Down's lad who'd like to come and raise money for the Charidee, and all agree he'd be welcome.
JG not too keen on tents, and wondered if the more comfortable huts option includes satellite TV, so he can watch the rugby World Cup. Ponce! Can't decide whether he's just taking the piss or if he really hasn't grasped what he's letting himself in for. Probably the former but decide to take a tent to Wales to give him some idea - if nothing else it'll be a laugh (as long as nobody drinks Guiness the night before).
Some discussion on routes follows, based on web research (especially the entries from the African Walking Company on www.africatravelresource.com) and Bobby's book, Kilimanjaro: the Trekker's Guide to Africa's Highest Mountain (available from all good book shops, and some crap ones as well - although I'm a tad disappointed it's not called "How to Climb Kilimanjaro Without Farting" - we were big Monty Python fans back in the day).
Two routes stand out - Rongai and Machame - these seem to offer the highest success rate for inexperienced climbers (read middle-aged fat blokes), and include an element of ascent followed by descent early on to minimise altitude sickness - so we agree to further research these and make final decision after Punky's MOT. And here endeth the first call.
Blimey, that was easy. Big decisions made, action points allocated, date of next meeting set. This conference call mullarkey's so much more efficient than Bangers n Mash - and you don't get a monumental hangover the next morning. I'm a convert.
A conference call - now we're in business. Getting the boys together usually involves several hundred texts, a shed load of compromises and a large dollop of luck, all over a 6 week timeline. But we value the time together - so much so that it was only after suffering several years of curry nights that JG, JK and Bobby all admitted they don't actually like curry - so it's been Bangers n Mash since then (or in Bobby's case fish finger sandwiches. Marvelous. If only the S+M Cafe still did Ambrosia Cream Rice, I'd happily spend the rest of my life there).
Agenda duly arrives - 1) Punky's MOT. 2) Confirming commitment. 3) Agreeing date. 4) Route - tents v huts. 5) Kit. 6) Agree training weekend in Wales. 7) AOB. This is uber efficiency at its German best - I feel like I'm entering the jet set and wonder if I should dig the Cerrutti suit out especially for the occasion!
Predictably me and Bobby Backspin hit the call first. Punky and JK are fashionably late, followed by JG, who is so fashionably late it's virtually haute couture.
Punky's in for his MOT at the end of January, and he's already in training to make sure that he passes! Good lad. Fingers crossed.
Ideally we'd time the trip to reach the summit on Sept 12th, which is a full moon (the final ascent starts at midnight, climbing with torches strapped to head not as romantic). Sadly Punky has a global corporate wank-in that week, and Gooner D starts college after that, so we decide on the first week in September, as near to the full moon as we can.
Bobby Backspin confirms Crispy Backspin's not coming after all, which is a shame. It'd be nice to get to know her better, and seven's a magic number that works well on trips. Luckily JK knows a fellow dad of a Down's lad who'd like to come and raise money for the Charidee, and all agree he'd be welcome.
JG not too keen on tents, and wondered if the more comfortable huts option includes satellite TV, so he can watch the rugby World Cup. Ponce! Can't decide whether he's just taking the piss or if he really hasn't grasped what he's letting himself in for. Probably the former but decide to take a tent to Wales to give him some idea - if nothing else it'll be a laugh (as long as nobody drinks Guiness the night before).
Some discussion on routes follows, based on web research (especially the entries from the African Walking Company on www.africatravelresource.com) and Bobby's book, Kilimanjaro: the Trekker's Guide to Africa's Highest Mountain (available from all good book shops, and some crap ones as well - although I'm a tad disappointed it's not called "How to Climb Kilimanjaro Without Farting" - we were big Monty Python fans back in the day).
Two routes stand out - Rongai and Machame - these seem to offer the highest success rate for inexperienced climbers (read middle-aged fat blokes), and include an element of ascent followed by descent early on to minimise altitude sickness - so we agree to further research these and make final decision after Punky's MOT. And here endeth the first call.
Blimey, that was easy. Big decisions made, action points allocated, date of next meeting set. This conference call mullarkey's so much more efficient than Bangers n Mash - and you don't get a monumental hangover the next morning. I'm a convert.
Boy's Trip, Schmoy's Trip
"It's a boy's thing - you won't want me there" says Gooner D, rather unconvincingly. She usually says this about curry nights when she doesn't want to come. But Kilimanjaro's a step up from Brick Lane, or even Whitechapel, so I know she really wants to. After all, we went to the World Cup in South Africa for her 50th and had a brilliant time, despite England's best efforts to ruin it for all concerned, and we made a pact to do something equally memorable for mine. To make her feel welcome I try to dexterously navigate that fine line between assertive and caring.
"Don't be stupid, and don't exclude yourself. You know you want to come" Not the most sensitive start, I'll grant you. "I know it might looks like a Boys Own adventure, but everyone's welcome - the more the merrier. We'll have a great time, and it's for Charidee." That's a bit better. Sensing a softening, I go for the kill "And Crispy Backspin fancies it - it'll help her to know you're coming"
Bobby's better half interested but wavering - I wonder if she's having similar "best not to get in the way of all that male bonding" thoughts.
I'm not sure whether it was the knee in the groin opening, the we-can't-let-the-kiddies-down-now-can-we angle, or the lure of doing it for the sisterhood, but something's clicked and Gooner D is in. Great news.
"Don't be stupid, and don't exclude yourself. You know you want to come" Not the most sensitive start, I'll grant you. "I know it might looks like a Boys Own adventure, but everyone's welcome - the more the merrier. We'll have a great time, and it's for Charidee." That's a bit better. Sensing a softening, I go for the kill "And Crispy Backspin fancies it - it'll help her to know you're coming"
Bobby's better half interested but wavering - I wonder if she's having similar "best not to get in the way of all that male bonding" thoughts.
I'm not sure whether it was the knee in the groin opening, the we-can't-let-the-kiddies-down-now-can-we angle, or the lure of doing it for the sisterhood, but something's clicked and Gooner D is in. Great news.
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