Huge Piles and Wet Wipes for the bum

It's the day before we fly out and Chez Hipster is a buzz of activity. Gooner D has put everything in piles on the bedroom floor and is ticking things off the tick-list with almost surgical precision. Who'd have thought a saunter up some rock in Africa would need half this stuff? But then again the trek starts on an African plain in Summer, peaks at minus Christ knows what, and is hot again at the other end.

"Did you see the ten day weather forecast for the mountain" says JK "Between minus 5 and minus 10 at the top, and sunny!"
"Blimey, let's hope we don't all melt up there!" Assuming this accounts for wind-chill, this is positively balmy. We had been warned it could reach minus 32 (although it probably will at  4am, when we're half way into the final ascent).
"Have you packed?" I ask
"Not yet, have it all in piles on the floor" he says (I'm glad to see we're not the only ones who favour the 'pile it high and stuff it in' method of packing) "and there seems to be four times more stuff than I can fit into my backpack - think I overdid it on chocolate bars for the trek"
"Don't leave the chocolate, leave some clothing instead" I say "And travel in your boots"

It seems a good idea to travel in a complete walking outfit as well as your boots, just in case any luggage goes missing. And to stuff all available pockets to the brim with Walnut Whips!

Remembering another top tip - cut your toenails short - I repair to the bathroom for a clip, wondering if Hillary did his own nails or whether he and Sherpa Tenzing ritually clipped each-others at Everest base camp. Or maybe they had extensions done before they left? Having pondered the mysteries of the mountains, and with pedicure complete, I remember we need to pack our own bog rolls for the trip (two each), plus the packet of what I can only describe as 'wet wipes for your bum' that I found in Morrison's today - whatever next?

I wander into the bedroom to see by how much bigger our huge piles are than our backpacks. Unable to see the carpet, I'm guessing it's more than 4 to 1.

Hey ho! Looks like we'll be eating Walnut Whips for a fortnight when we get home.